Aftermath
by Tina910
Summary: Post ANH-Pre-ESB. Princess Leia deals with the loss of Alderaan and her confusing feelings toward Han.
1. Chapter 1

Aftermath

A/N: _Set in my favourite time period – post ANH-pre ESB. Many people have built stories around parties at the Rebel base, and most have done it better than me but since I always love them I decided to give it a try. Thanks to all those who inspired me!_

/

When Princess Leia Organa enters the room, the party is in full swing. The ceremony room has been transformed. Instead of lines of soldiers, row upon row of stiff bodies at attention, there are tables and chairs, bodies relaxed and leaning, some quietly talking, others in groups shouting excitedly about the victory. Masses of alcohol has appeared, seemly out of nowhere, and some of the pilots have joined together to create a make-shift band. She spies Luke, now surrounded by other pilots. By his hand gestures, he is obviously giving his account of the space battle that happened a mere day ago. He's a hero now. She smiles to herself, thinking of the farm boy that rushed into her cell wearing a too-big stormtrooper uniform, intent on saving her. And he did. With a little help from a smuggler, a Wookiee and General Kenobi.

Kenobi was lost to them now, just like the many pilots that lost their lives trying to destroy the Death Star. And… She shakes her head. Not going to think about it, can't think about it now. Now she has to be a leader, she has to show strength. She holds her head up a little higher but there's a tremble in her hands she can't quite hide.

She scans the room, sees the higher-ups at a table, smiling but reserved. That's where she should head, she knows, she's supposed to be one of them, putting on a good show in the name of morale. But she can't quite bring herself to sit at that table. There will be concern, and perhaps even a gentle pat on the arm from Dodonna. There will be pity.

So her eyes drift further and she finds what she wants. The bar. Just a drink to steady her nerves, she tells herself. Never mind who is standing at the bar, she certainly isn't going over there to talk to him. She remembers her words to him. _If money as all you want, then that is what you'll receive_. And yet, he came back. Albeit at the last moment, but as it turned out, when he was most needed. And he saved Luke, he saved the day. She respected him for that. And that only. She ignores the memory of the tiny thrill she got when she hugged him after they had arrived back safely and the Death Star was destroyed. That was just the excitement of winning the day.

As soon as she approaches the bar, though, Han is on her like a shot.

"So, Your Worshipfulness, come to join me for a drink?" He winks at her as he says it and gives her a crooked grin. She rolls her eyes.

"Not everything is about you, flyboy, as hard as you may find that to believe." She says it archly, automatically pulling up a wall around her. She briefly wonders why – she isn't like this with Luke. But his whole attitude infuriates her.

"Come on, Sweetheart, I watched you make a beeline straight for me. Don't be shy about it."

"Han, you're standing at the bar. Everybody in this place is making a beeline straight to you."

Just then at table to the left of them broke out in raucous laughter at some unheard joke, as if to prove her point.

"Well, if it's a drink you want, allow me," he says with exaggerated gallantry, moving his arm in a circular motion expansively. "I know just the thing." He talks to the bartender and is rewarded with a drink, amber coloured with ice.

She takes it dubiously and gives it a cautious sniff. Her nose burns with the odour. Normally she is more partial to wine and even then in small amounts. She gives him a curious look.

"It's Correllian whiskey, only the best for my princess," he gloats.

"First of all, I am not _your_ princess. Second of all…." Suddenly she can think of nothing else to say. Infuriated to leave her sentence hanging, thereby losing a battle of wits with Han, she makes a choice. She wanted a drink and now she has one. No, she needed a drink. So she looks him in the eye, raises the glass and pours it down her throat in one go. It burns like hells going down and she has to cover her urge to start coughing like a demon, but she manages to do it. She slams the empty glass on the bar and stares at him triumphantly. Suddenly the burn turns to a slow warmth travelling through her body. It adds to her joy at stunning the very unstunable Han Solo.

Han recovers quickly, shutting his open mouth and replacing it with a grin. "That's my princess!"

"Again, I am not your— oh forget it. Get me another one, would you?"


	2. Chapter 2

Aftermath Chapter 2

Han Solo watched Leia as she talked to Luke using animated gestures. She was smiling openly and nodding emphatically at everything he said and some small part of him felt the slight sting of jealousy. He wanted to walk over there, feel the beam of her smile directed at him and the gaze of her eyes into his. But that was stupid. What was it to him that she could talk to Luke that way and not to him? He didn't even know if he was sticking around past tomorrow. Besides, if she wasn't drunk already, she was getting tipsy.

Han had been drunk enough times himself and for enough reasons to know why Leia was hitting the booze. And it wasn't to have a good time. Hells, if his entire planet and family had just been destroyed in the blink of an eye, he'd be getting drunk too. Not to mention whatever nightmare she was subjected to as a prisoner of Darth Vader. She was scheduled to be terminated, Luke had said. That meant they had tortured her enough and either got what they wanted or figured they wouldn't get anything else out of her. Watching her try and forget for a few moments made the strong-willed princess seem more vulnerable somehow. Made him want to protect her.

He took another sip of his own drink. He had to get away from this train of thought. Where was Chewie, anyway? One glance around the room was enough to find the seven-foot-tall wookiee by the food table, stuffing his face. Well, maybe he could use some food himself. But instead of making a grab at some of the fair – which was mostly rations anyway — he found himself making up a plate for Leia instead, thinking she could use it more than him.

He wandered over to where Luke and Leia were laughing uproariously but once they noticed him their laughter stopped suddenly, except for a few involuntary snorts from Leia. Luke greeted him enthusiastically.

"Han! We did it!" He yelled and whacked him on the back. "If you hadn't come back for me, I'd be a goner!"

Han grinned at the younger man, whose face was starting to redden from the alcohol. Han suspected it was Luke's first time drinking.

"Yep, I managed to save your ass all right, kid," he drawled. "But I'm known for my good timing. Speaking of which, Your Holiness might want to have a little snack just about now."

Leia didn't speak but she eyed the plate he held out to her with some thought. Then she said calmly, "No, I don't think so. I don't think that's what I need at all."

Han sighed. Why was he bothering, anyway. Let her get drunk. Only he didn't want to see he spiral downward. But he couldn't force her to eat so he offered the plate to Luke instead, who gulped everything down like he was giving Chewie a run for his money.

"Well, what _do_ you need, Princess?" He said it with a leer. He was still Han Solo after all. But to his surprise she didn't come back with a retort. She was looking straight into his eyes and it was unnerving. Then a blush creeped up her cheeks and she turned away, looked down, looked up, looked around the room until her eyes fell back on Luke.

"I need a dance with the hero of the Rebellion. What do you say, Luke?"

"Sure, Leia," Luke said happily and lead her onto the makeshift dance floor, leaving Han alone.

The song was a fast one and he watched them bounce happily around each other, somehow in sync.

After a minute he felt Chewbacca's presence at his side. The wookiee rumbled something to him.

"I am NOT staring at her," he said, grumpily. But he didn't take his eyes of her petite form as she danced around Luke, noting to himself that they never touched.


	3. Chapter 3

Aftermath Chapter 3

He's watching me, _he's watching me_ , Leia thought as she shifted her eyes to the corner of the room. Why is he watching me? Unless he's watching Luke… the words hazily crossed her mind but she dismissed them quickly. Why on earth would he be watching Luke dance?

She felt good dancing with Luke, the fast music beating through her – she felt happy. This is what she'd been looking for, this carefree feeling of fun that every nineteen-year-old should get to feel. But with Han watching she felt something more, something foreign and heady. She wanted him to like her dancing. She wanted him to watch and yet she didn't. It was so confusing.

She tried to take another surreptitious glance at him only to find that he had turned away and was talking to Wes Janson. No doubt Wes was trying to coerce him to help him with one of his pranks. Han had a smirk on his face that said he might not participate but he'd love to see the result.

The song ended and a slow one started, at which point she dragged Luke off the dance floor. She didn't want to dance close to Luke somehow. In any case, she needed another drink. It was working for her so far, after all. But the voice of the girl that had been raised in the Royal House of Alderaan whispered to her to keep control of herself. Was this how a princess acted? She shook the thought off angrily. "No," she told herself. She was no longer that girl. In the flash of power that took her world, that girl had died.

"Luke, I'm getting a drink, come with me." she said, and he followed her willingly. Was Luke trying to forget his losses the same way she was? No, that didn't sound like Luke. He was simply caught up in the victory and the new, exciting world he'd landed in.

"What are you drinking, Leia?" He asked so he could tell the bartender. He was drinking ale and every time he took a sip he thought of how thirst-quenching it would have been in the desert.

"Correllian whiskey."

Luke looked at her in surprise. "That's pretty strong stuff."

"I'm a pretty strong woman," she said carelessly.

Luke shrugged. "Okay, " he said and handed her the drink. Her hand was a little unsteady as she reached for it. If Luke noticed, he didn't say anything. If anything, he seemed to be giving her puppy-dog eyes. She thought. Maybe. She averted her gaze.

Suddenly an arm went around Luke's shoulders – Wedge had participated in the battle with Luke almost to the end of his run, but had had to pull up do to malfunction. "Luke, we've got some new recruits who want to ohh and ahh over your amazing piloting skills, come on, let's give them a show." As Wedge pulled him away, Luke gave her a look that said, "what can I do?" She waved at him. She knew he was the star of the show tonight and a lot of people would want to talk to him.

And just like that she found herself alone. Not just by herself, but alone in a sea full of people. These people are celebrating, she thought desperately, how can they be _celebrating_? She had nothing to do with them. She was alone in her grief (don't let it over come you, not now, not in the middle of a party). She found herself wandering around the room aimlessly, drink in hand. People came up to her and she nodded and smiled but she was no longer there, not really. A pain was creeping up through her body, it was settling in her stomach.

The world tilted slightly on its axis but she didn't stumble. She stood ramrod straight, with only one thought in her head. She had to get out of there. Leia glanced around to see if anyone was watching her. Her eyes landed on the table the High Council was sitting at. A few of them were looking in her direction. She turned away.

With all the dignity of her lifelong training, she made her way to the exit, leaving the revellers behind her, every step an effort. Finally she was at the door, which she opened slightly and practically poured herself through as though opening it all the way would announce her escape to the world.

Finally out in the empty hallway, she began to walk quickly, not knowing where she was going but needing to be away, away, away from everything and everybody who did not share her grief.

She walked so quickly, in fact, that it made it difficult for the handsome smuggler to track her movements.


	4. Chapter 4

Aftermath Chapter 4

Soon Leia found herself in the hanger bay, which was eerily quiet. Everyone was at the party. Celebrating. Celebrating the great victory against the Empire. But hadn't the Empire taken more from her than the Rebels had taken from them? There were no lakes and seas on the Death Star, glistening with promise. There were no families, no snow-capped mountains. Her memories surrounded her now, sinking her deeper into depression. Her family was gone. Her beloved father…. And wasn't it her fault? Had she not been captured, surely they would not have felt the need to demonstrate their weapon on Alderaan.

She could still see it in her mind's eye, couldn't erase the image of her home planet being blown out of the starry sky in a moment, becoming nothing more than an asteroid field. Her hands shook. _It's my fault_ , she thought again. My people, my family, gone.

She walked slowly over to a door that led outside. She could see the jungle beyond it, cloaked in night. Leia felt drawn to it, and suddenly calm. She could just walk outside, keep walking until she was lost in the wilderness and perhaps some night beast would come tracking her. It wouldn't be a pleasant way to die but it would be over quickly. She took a step outside.

Suddenly she felt an arm on her forearm and she jumped with surprise, whirling around. Han Solo stood there.

"Where do you think you're going, Princess?" He asked, his tone ominous.

She was embarrassed to be caught out like this and all her calmness left her. She blushed furiously with shame and anger. "Nowhere! I was just getting some fresh air."

"It's not safe in the jungle at night." He was still hanging on to her and she wrestled her way free.

"What are you doing here, anyway? Shouldn't you be celebrating?" Her tone was bitter and Han's face seemed to soften.

"I was worried about you."

That caught her up short. Han Solo was worried about her? What kind of crazy night was this?

"Look, Princess—"

"Don't call me that! Don't ever call me that again," she yelled at him, suddenly out of control. She found herself beating her fists against his chest and crying. "I'm not the princess of anything anymore, don't you understand?" She couldn't seem to stop herself, she couldn't stop. All her emotions were pouring out at once and she didn't do things like this, she just didn't, why couldn't she stop?

Han did the only thing he could think of – he wrapped his arms around her tightly and held her as close to him as he could. There was nowhere for her diminutive frame to go now, no room for her fists to find their mark and she was left, impotent of rage, tears still streaming down her cheeks.

Giving comfort was not Han's strong suit so he didn't quite know where to take it from there, so he just continued to hold her while she cried. Soon the sobbing stopped and they were left standing there, his arms enfolding her, she pressed up against him.

Leia felt stunned by Han's move and something else she didn't expect. She felt protected. She felt like, for a moment, she didn't have to be in charge, the Rebellion didn't need her and she could relax. And she did start to relax. She heard his heart beating under his shirt, she breathed in the smell of him, she felt _him_ , somehow. Some inner part of him recognized him in a way she never had before. Only, wait, weren't there times in her life when she inexplicably knew about someone? Usually it was a negative feeling, like a warning that the person had bad intentions, but this time it was far from that.

She realized she'd been standing there in his arms for quite some time and that he had been silent and she started to get self-conscious. She pulled back, disengaged from the embrace and wiped her eyes. Blushing, she looked up at him.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me, you shouldn't have to… I mean… I usually don't…"

"I know," he said softly. "It's okay, Sweetheart. You've had a hell of a few days. I don't know what I'd do if… Well, you've had a hell of a few days." He put his arm around her shoulder. "Let me walk you back to your room."


	5. Chapter 5

Aftermath Chapter 5

"Do I look all right?" Leia asked Han. They were about to traverse the hallways of the base and she absolutely couldn't allow anyone to see she had been crying.

Han had to stop himself from telling her she looked absolutely beautiful. Her perfectly done hair was coming loose at the sides, giving her a softer look and her wide eyes staring earnestly into his was making him feel like giving her the kiss of a lifetime. He didn't know when he started to feel this way about her but it somehow seemed to be happening very quickly. Did it start with that hug she gave him when they blew up the Death Star? He remembered well the feel of her warm body pressed against him. "You look fine," he said softly.

What she actually looked like was vulnerable and that look caught him completely – it was such a contrast from what he'd seen of her so far; strong, unbending, and decisive. A wave of protectiveness washed over him and for a moment he thought he'd do anything for this woman, anything to make her pain go away.

"Let's get you to your quarters, Sweetheart."

They started down the hallway, Leia stumbling a little bit as she walked beside Han. He stuck his hand in his pocket and thrust his elbow out towards her, an invitation that she accepted gratefully. She held his arm and managed to steady herself for the most part, if she concentrated.

Her emotions were running wild, her grief still so fresh that it caused her physical pain and it was all she could do to keep her head up and her tears in while they walked the hallways toward her cabin. She wanted to scream with the pain of her loss, she wanted to throw things and have them shatter into a million pieces, yet she wanted to be strong and show that they had not broken her.

And Han, being so _nice_ to her. Everything was confusing, but she held on to his arm as if he were the only thing standing between her and insanity.

When they arrived at her room she palmed the door open and turned to say goodbye to Han but he quickly followed her in.

"Captain, what do you think you're doing? Thank you for your help but—"

"Never mind all that," he said. "Go change into your sleeping clothes and meet me back here.'

She was so weary with emotion, so shocked at his statement, so tired and so tipsy, she simply followed orders. She got her nightgown and socks from her cabinet and went to the 'fresher to change. As she changed she wondered why she was doing this. She wondered what his motives were. She wondered if he would stay if she asked him to.

She crept out of the 'fresher to find him waiting for her, still fully dressed thank the goddess. Not that she really thought he wouldn't be.

But he had been busy while she was changing. He held out a glass of water and two painkillers.

"Sweetheart, I want you to take these and drink this whole glass of water, okay. Trust me, you'll be happy you did." He steered her to the edge of the bed and sat her down, then handed his hangover remedy to her.

She drank it all, obediently. Han knew she was truly far gone for her to be this compliant. He looked at her in her white nightgown that hung to her ankles and her heavy socks and thought she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen.

Leia's mind was full of chaos. She was exhausted by her emotional outburst, exhausted by the pain in her heart, and exhausted by the alcohol she had drunk. All she knew was that Han was making her feel better and she didn't want him to leave. Her head whirled with this new information. She didn't want Han Solo to leave. She felt if she could only hang on to him for a little longer she could get through this night.

"All right, get into bed now," Han ordered and pulled back the covers. Dutifully she crawled underneath them. She scooted to the far end of the bed.

Staring at the design on the bedspread she whispered, "Will you… will you stay? Just for a little bit?" She felt like a child asking to sleep in her parent's bed, but she couldn't help herself. She'd go crazy if he left her alone now, all the pain would come back. He was her salve.

Han pulled back in surprise. She wanted him to stay? Yet how could he resist her, her small body curled in on itself, looking so breakable. "Sure, Leia." He said her name softly, perhaps for the first time since they had met.

He looked around for a chair to sit in but it was her turn to pull back the covers. "Please," she said. "just for a while."

He stood staring at her for a moment, considering. He would love nothing more than to crawl into bed with the Princess for various reasons but he knew what she needed was comfort. He took off his boots and climbed in.

She immediately curled herself around him and he put his arm around her as she lay her head on his chest. She heard the beating of his heart again, she smelled his unique smell and once again the feeling of peace came over her, this other-worldly feeling that he was _good_ and would protect her. It wasn't long before she was snoring gently.

Han on the other hand, was not so quick to fall asleep. He wanted to help her, hells that had been his goal the whole night, but there was only so much a man could take. A beautiful woman in his arms and he could do nothing about it. He sighed. This was where chivalry got you. But the longer he lay there the more he was able to just enjoy her warmth, the smell of her hair and her soft breathing. He kissed her on the top of her head and closed his eyes for a moment, a moment that turned into hours.

When Leia awoke in the morning, Han was gone. All that was left to prove he had been there was a full class of water by the bed and a note that said, "Drink this, Sweetheart."

She drank the water and fingered the note, then got up and put it carefully away in her desk drawer.

The End

 _Reviews welcome!_


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